I had a problem with being serious
I found it funny when things getting serious since
we have not understood consciousness
and we can not prove anything is real
now things changed, not because I came out as a sociopath
the feeling of funny is ok, but the aim should be breathtaking-ly quiet
because laughing can mask doubt and shame, anger and fear
it comes from a good place, but it makes things harder to debug
had a dream last weekend where I was little and I was pretending stupid
so that i can lie
so that my parents can be happy with each other
so that I can keep the house together
that didn’t work out
I should remember that
I have all the answers
but I don’t always have the courage to see them
because my mind is capable of convincing me that I don’t know the answer
my brain is a bitch
if I let it
